Holy Crap We're Parents

Warning...This is the story of Sutton's birth. There might be some details that you never needed to have, but I wanted to keep it real. It's also super long, so you have been warned! Lots of my friends have asked about how everything went, and functioning on 2 hours of sleep makes responding to texts low on the priority totem pole. I also included some things I learned through this process, which will hopefully help someone else out!

For months (after having a front row seat to my sisters c-section) I begged my doctor to just let me go in for one. The whole thought of labor terrified me, plus I had no confidence I could actually birth a child. Side note- turns out I couldn't. Despite my whining and moaning she didn't budge, and the day after my due date, we went in for an induction.

These people have no idea what they're in for...but does anyone really?

Walking into the hospital that morning, I can only describe my emotions as a dorky 5 year old walking into kindergarten for the first time. You know there's no way you're getting out of going into this building, but every instinct is telling you to run home. I was terrified and cried a little. Let's keep in mind here that I am a classic over reactor and incredibly dramatic, so if you have not had a bambino don't let that scare you too much.

Around 7am I was hooked up to all kind of monitors and the party got started. They broke my water immediately and then told me scary news #1 for the day. Sutton decided to go ahead and poop before he came out, so there was meconium swimming around in there with him. We were informed we wouldn't hear him cry when he was born so they they could make sure to clear his airways. Cue emotional breakdown #2 for the day. No one wants to hear from the get go even the smallest thing is wrong.

 I made it until about 10am without asking for the good drugs, I was pretty proud of myself. They asked me a few times if I was ready, but I wanted to "feel labor" for some idiotic reason. To anyone who thinks they can do it without the drugs... more power to you. When my contractions were lasting a minute each and were only 2 minutes apart, let me just tell you that this labor business is no joke.

So I got the drugs. They asked me if a student could do my epidural. I refrained from cursing at the nurse that asked, which I considered a win. The lovely nurse who did the epidural missed the first time, so I got to experience that fun twice. Despite this discomfort, it was welcomed. I proceeded to watch a Pretty Little Liars marathon for the next several hours, because I am a 15 year old trapped in a 28 year old's body. After the epidural you can't feel anything, so it's pretty easy going.

Let me just say that our little meatball has been a bit on the lazy side from the get go. At 38 weeks I had an ultrasound he refused to wake up for, so they hooked me up to all kind of monitors and scared the crap out of me...just to tell me he was only sleepy. He continued onto his path of being dramatic like his mom throughout the day. As soon as I got the epidural, my blood pressure decided to hit the floor (which is common). They brought in the nice lady with the drugs, and she gave me something to help that, which made it go up too high. "Short people are just hard to regulate"... sorryyyyyy for that lady. Well during this process Sutton's heart rate decided to play a game of hopscotch. At one point it got so low the nurse called in my doctor and the doctor on call in the hospital. At this point I was hysterical, even my sister (the normally emotionless one) was crying. Just as my doctor, who literally sprinted from her office across the street, arrived they got him to wake up. At this point I had already had 3 emotional breakdowns and it was only 2pm. I started begging for them to just get him out where they could take care of him, and again... my lack of Md lead them to ignore me. Instead, they just gave me a sweet oxygen mask to wear...which did not include the laughing gas that I asked for.

Around 4:30 or 5, I really have no idea what time, my sister started pacing around the monitors looking all serious. This is never a good sign. The nurse came in and told me Sutton's heart rate had now gone way up and was staying up. I also decided to spike a fever which was fun. At this point, I was totally over it. I had been at 6 cm for 3 hours, so this little guy was refusing to play it cool. My doctor came in and set on my bed and told me she thought the c-section I asked for since 30 weeks was our best bet. (Told ya so). Now, you'd think I would've been happy. Nope, panic attack. Started again balling uncontrollably. (If you haven't caught onto a trend here, I don't handle stress and hormones well at all...I feel really bad for my nurse Sarah Beth, who was great). All of a sudden there were 10 people in my room all asking me questions and talking over one another and it totallyyyy freaked me out.  Here is Jacob after they wheeled me out...he missed the meltdown completely.

In the OR, I finally calmed down when the nurses started complimenting my toenail polish. I guess I just needed something to take my mind off of the fact that I was about to be ripped open. Now, they tell you you don't feel pain, just "tugging"...HA. If tugging means you're pretty sure someone is standing on the bed pulling your abdomen across the room, then sure. I made a huge mistake at this point by telling them I could feel pain on my left side (probably due to the whole 2 epidural thing). My lovely anesthesiologist right by my head wasn't about to let me feel anything, so she told me she was giving me something that "might make me sleepy". Understatement of the century. Luckily, I remember hearing Sutton cry (and I started crying again, only this time happy tears), and that is about it. Apparently I was pretty coherent here, but unfortunately I don't remember. 

As all of our family met our baby for the first time, I was unconscious (snoring according to my sister, thanks) in the corner. This absolutely broke my heart. I remember fighting the sleepiness and trying to look at him. I had my sister walk up and then back so I could try and focus on him opening 1 eye at a time, no luck. It would be about 2 hours until I could actually process the person I gave birth to. I would've much rather felt some pain than missed this, but we made up for lost time. I have the most beautiful little boy in the world, and no, it's not up for debate!

I hate that his birth story isn't a unicorns and butterflies story, but I wanted to share it because I was only prepared for some of the scariness based on stories my friends (or random pinterest blogs) told me. The 3 nights in the hospital weren't a breeze either, but I'll spare you those details. Here's some things I would highly recommend though if you are having a baby any time in the near or not so near future.

• Don't freak out. Take it from me, have someone with you that can calm you down and not over react and scare you even more. My husband is great, but I really needed my sister there. She just went through this process 10 weeks ago, and she is pretty much the most level headed person I know. Along with this, don't plan to have a room full of people when you're in labor, unless you think you can handle it. Things can get dramatic quickly, and if you have a ton of people it can scare them, which will scare you. I didn't let my sister or Jacob tell anyone what was going on until after, because I couldn't handle anyone else being as worried as I was.
• Over share time: Invest in these 2 gems, especially if you have a c-section. DO NOT attempt to put on in the hospital while your belly is still super tender. I made this mistake and it was terrible. The day after we got home I put them both on and wear them 24/7. It seriously helps with shrinking your tummy and helping you sit up, sit down, and pick up the baby with your incision. I think it would still be great for a vaginal delivery as well.
  
• Send your baby to the nursery. A lot of people disagree with this, but you cannot heal (and no matter the route you will be healing) if you aren't sleeping. The nurses will bring the baby back when they are hungry, but you need some rest! One of my nurses made it clear she didn't support this, and it was really hard for me to ask for them to take him. The first night I was so out of it they had to. The second night I felt bad asking so I literally did not sleep. AT ALL. The pediatrician came in around 7am and I was balling (seriously, notice a pattern). She told me to send him and not feel bad about it. 
• Bring a paci to the hospital. They will not give you one, and they will tell you not to use it for 2 weeks. However, when they are screaming at 3am and not hungry, you'll be glad you did. Again, if you really disagree... don't bring one. I just know I found it helpful, and I have several friends who were breast feeding that did as well.
• If you feel like your baby is extremely hungry, don't be upset if you need to supplement. My awesome pediatrician also recommended this. Our little boy was having plenty of diapers, but I knew from his screaming something was wrong. Turns out he lost more than 12% of his body weight in the hospital, which is more than normal. When I asked the nurse to give him a little formula to supplement, she literally argued with me and I had to push the issue, which is upsetting. We started supplementing at night and he gained back 10 oz in 4 days. Breast feeding is fantastic, but it doesn't make you a bad mom if its not going 100% according to plan and you need to change things up! I've had to end up only pumping and giving bottles and a little formula at night.
• Ask for help and stay on top of your pain medicine. My wonderful nurse Heather...shout out you were amazing, wrote on my dry erase board what time I could have each drug next. If she didn't come in I would always call. There were a couple of times when I missed a dose in the middle of the night because I was too tired to call...bigggg mistake. She also made me feel like I wasn't crazy when I cried and actually hugged me when I was having a breakdown. She was just so sweet and calm and it's exactly what I needed. Not all nurses are as great as Heather.

Basically, don't be scared to do what YOU think is best if your baby and yourself. You are also in the hospital as a patient, and you need to follow your instincts. It's like your wedding day, something is bound to go not according to plan, and you just have to roll with the punches, because at the end of the day you will have a perfect tiny human being who you will love more than anything. You will be overwhelmed and feel under prepared, but its crazy how naturally everything will come.