Confessions of a Semi-Psychotic Bride

Everyone knows that wedding planning can be stressful, and I don't think anyone doubted that I would be completely obsessed. Both have proved to be true. I still feel like one of my callings in life is to be a wedding planner. I will have been in almost 10 weddings by the time June rolls around, so nothing has been much of a surprise to me. Combined with that, and the five months that have passed in our planning process, I have learned some things I think are crucial to wedding planning.

1. Do everything, and I mean everything, by email. If you have conversations over the phone or in person, email a follow-up to reiterate what you have agreed upon. Vendors tend to forget what they tell you verses the 50 other people they spoke to that day, and you don't want to to be their word against yours. Also, you could be the one who is mixing up information, and that is embarrassing!
2. Keep copies of every contract in one place. This seems obvious, but it is amazing how quickly things get lost, and then you can't remember exactly what you have agreed to.
3. On that note, be OCD organized. I am not typically this person, but it really does help. Have a folder on your computer with everything wedding, a folder in your email for everything you have sent and received to vendors, and a physical folder you bring with you to any consultations and appointments to keep everything they give you in.
4. Nail down every single vendor as soon as you have a date, and pick your date based on the availability of the one thing you don't want to compromise on (for my it was my venue). We will be engaged almost exactly 12 months. I booked everything immediately, and it was insane to me how many vendors weren't available with a years notice. We now live in a time of year and a half to two year engagements. If you wait procrastinate, be prepared to use your 2nd or 3rd choice.
5. I have blogged about this before, but beware of the wedding dress appointment. I think this is a very different experience for everyone, but there are some universal truths. Do not watch Say Yes to the Dress...ever. Chances are you will not have a moment when you put on "the dress" and bust into tears and know immediately. This is your freaking wedding dress! It's emotional, it's expensive, and you know everyone will be staring at you in it all day. You have a million thoughts in your head that there is no changing your mind once it is done. Prepare yourself for this, and you may not have an emotional breakdown half naked in the dressing room with the sales associate, as I did.
6. Don't be afraid to say what you want along the way. It's ok to pull the "I'm the bride card" every now and then. Now, this has never exactly been a problem for me. I am not a very indecisive person. However, it's easy to find yourself caving into what other people want because there are just so many decisions to be made, and you are sick of making them. If something really matters to you, it is ok! At the same time, don't be afraid to hand over the reins to a trusted sister, friend or mom in some cases. If you honestly don't care what color the napkins are, let someone else make the decision.
7. This may be an unpopular comment, but do not ask your bridesmaids their opinion on their dress. I don't say this meaning to pick whatever you want with no thought to them. Only that if you ask for opinions, be prepared to get them! If you know your bridesmaids are all in college or graduate school, they probably cannot afford a $300+ dress and shoes. If you know it is very likely you will have bridesmaids who are pregnant at your wedding (as I did), don't buy a form fitting, unforgiving dress. The point of this is, you cannot please everyone, especially a group of females with different tastes. If they are your bridesmaids, you should know them well enough to understand their financial status and body issues. Keep this in mind, and pick a dress. Again, if you ask opinions, you will get them, and you will probably be more confused than when you began.
8. Buy an etiquette book. This is my personal opinion, but there many things you can do to make your wedding your own, and some that people are probably going to say are just tacky. Southern ways die hard, love it or hate it, it's true. Obviously not everyone will agree with this, but it really is a great resource. When it came to the wording of my invitations, it really helped. It's also helpful to realize certain things that could be offensive to people that probably wouldn't have occurred to you. Although, some of what they say can be taken with a grain of salt, Ex: I did not think it was necessary that my ring bearer only wear a black or navy suit, or that wearing red to a wedding means you're sleeping with the groom (but I absolutely will judge you if you wear white, it's not ok. I don't care what anyone says, it is not).
9. Your invitations matter. It is the way people will form their expectations of the entire event. They should match the formality of your wedding. Burlap is one of my favorite new trends, and can be super dressed up in decorations, but if you send burlap invitations, don't be surprised if people come in jeans. If that's not what you want, rethink the invitations.
10. Primp. It is that simple. You will like all of your pictures more, bridal, engagement, day of, if you do. Get a spray tan, have your hair, nails, and/or makeup done. Trust me, you'll just feel better, and it will show. I don't care if "you're not that girl" blah blah blah...truth bomb- we're all that girl.
11. The last thing I would say, is that you should expect exceptional customer service. I will admit, I have high expectations for this in general. Everyone you are dealing with is in the customer service/hospitality industry. If you feel you are not being treated with the level of courtesy someone would who is spending a great deal of money with that vendor, by all means speak up! I learned the hard way if you let things slide, problems will mount. Keep in mind though, that you are dealing with real people. There are obviously going to be some mistakes made. Treat all of your vendors professionally and with respect, and you should get the same back. If not, you need to speak up and let them know they are not meeting your expectations.

I am sure in the last 7 months of this process I will have much more to add to this list. I wish I could make a list of my top pet peeves about weddings, but that would most certainly offend lots of people. If you're planning a wedding, be prepared for what's to come, and don't let it overwhelm you! Even though there are times when it is going to be stressful, at the end of the day you should enjoy it!