The Social Media Mom

Snow days = lots of time to sit around with my thoughts. You know what happens when that occurs... blogs. 

We live in a day and time when connecting with friends and family is literally in the palm of our hands. We don't have to rely on yearly Christmas cards or wait on visits to see how much has changed. For me, this makes living in Tennessee when almost everyone I know and love lives in Louisiana much easier! I am probably the queen of over posting. Do not follow my Instagram if you don't want to see an obnoxious amount of pictures of the most precious baby you've ever laid eyes on (not up for discussion). I'm saying all this to say social media is great... However, can we all give each other a freaking break? 

While social media connects us and gives us a sense of belonging when we can't be face to face, it can also make us feel like complete crap.I feel like I try to post real life. Do I take 97 pictures of my kid and post the best one where he looks like he's a model while the other 96 he's having a total meltdown? Absolutely! But I try not to pretend like it's always a cake walk. Case in point, Christmas pictures and stomach virus. I'm pretty sure the caption I posted with the vomit was "Party On" as this was around the 17th time I was covered in vomit that week.

Sometimes I think, especially for moms, we can be really insensitive to others that read our posts. I say we because I'm 100% sure I'm guilty of this too. I'm not saying we should all walk on our tip toes and hold our breath hoping not to offend, but just be aware! If you want to play an April fools joke, maybe don't post you're pregnant when you're not. I can remember a friend telling me how much it destroyed her to see people joking about being pregnant when they were struggling with infertility. I think it's great you get to go do all kind of fun things with and without your baby, but living 500 miles away from family makes that a lot harder for me. Then I feel awful for neglecting my relationship with my husband. I feel awesome for you that your 2 week old is sleeping through the night...until I have a 2 week old that isn't. Then at that point I want to throw things at you. (disclaimer: this is not me calling anyone out...these are random examples) 

I think when we post/read we need to think about 2 main things. 

1. what are my intentions with this post? Am I just trying to brag or am I honestly excited because my husband did something sweet, I went somewhere cool, or my child hit a milestone, etc? If I think I may be getting to the bragging stage, I try to pump the breaks. That being said, don't let anyone steal your joy. If you have a dang 2 week old who is sleeping through the night, that is something anyone would be excited about! If people don't like your post...well I'll get to that in a second.
2. Am I overly sensitive about this particular subject, or was the post actually offensive?

My touchy subject lately has been breastfeeding. If you want to post a selfie while you do it to bring awareness and show the world how great it is, more power to you! I'm all for it being normalized and for women to have manyyy more rights than do currently when it comes to feeding their child. However, sometimes the way people say it plain makes me feel like crap. Great that your making it look sooo easy and natural, but in reality it more than likely took some serious work on your part. At first it probably wasn't easy and natural, but you'd never know this from your posts about it. This set it up to be a huge shock to me when it was so hard! For me, it was a terrible experience and I had a ton of guilt about not being able to do it. I didn't understand what was wrong with me that it wasn't a walk in the park and that I didn't just love it and feel so bonded.  Every time I saw someone post about how awesome it is and how it's the greatest gift you can give your baby etc I felt so much guilt and shame. I understand the push to let everyone know how great it is (and I'm 100% not saying that it isn't) but dang when you constantly see things about "natures perfect food" and "breast is best" it makes you feel like a horrible mother. I mean every single formula commercial even has a disclaimer now about how breastfeeding is better. Sometimes I feel bombarded by messages that say I'm a big fat failure. I'm perfectly fine with my decision now, but dang it's like pouring lemon juice in a paper cut reading about it constantly. Clearly I am overly sensitive about this issue!

Let me follow that up by saying I know that no one posts things like that to hurt feelings. Just the opposite, most people have probably never thought about it. I know I've posted things that have hurt feelings (cough cough vaccines, we all know how I feel). But that, friends, is the real beauty of social media. If someone posts things that upset me, I can just unfollow them and chose not to see it! :) 

I'm all for social media. If you follow me you know that, and I hate to see people made to feel guilty about sharing their lives on it. I can't imagine having to mail pictures to my parents or sister for them to see my baby! I just hope we can all start to be a little more real and make our social media lives more closely match our real lives! Of course you don't want to post how horrible everything is going, nor does anyone want to read that constantly. But dangit let's support each other. Embrace the chaos. Learn to laugh at ourselves and not take everything so seriously. Prime example, my friend Angie's Christmas card picture. Real life with a 2 week old and I absolutely love it! Anyone who has ever had a baby can relate so closely to this, and it's awesome.

Let's post the good with the bad. If we're using social media to keep up with people we truly care about, then I want to know if you're having a rough time! I want to be able to offer support to my friends when they need it. Hopefully then we all won't feel like we are the only ones who don't live Pinterest perfect lives!